Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for the memorial service… to the Raiders’ 2018 playoff chances.
As you likely have heard by now, the Raiders traded Khalil Mack and two beans (2020 2nd and conditional 5th in 2020) for a bag of beans (2019 1st & 6th, 2020 1st & 3rd). I hope this resembles Jack and the Beanstalk more than a child’s book where the patriarch sells the farm for practically nothing.
This has the potential to be a good trade for both teams, if the Raiders hit on their draft picks that they’ve just acquired. Mack alone to the Bears was worth three 1st rounders. The Bears are not a playoff team, even with Mack, but the Raiders went from a boss to a janitor real fast.
In memory of the Oakland Raiders’ 2018 playoff chances, the NFL family requests donations to the New York Sack Exchange.
The Raiders’ playoff chances in 2018 are survived by the Patriots, Steelers, Texans, Chargers, Ravens, Titans, Eagles, Falcons, Packers, Rams, Redskins, and Saints’ playoff berths.
Interment will be at 3333 Al Davis way in Las Vegas. Our thoughts and prayers are with the family at these very, very dark times.